This blog is from my heart:
My musical journey has taken many twists and turns and offered untold surprises along the way (and it’s only been 3 years up to now!). But my personal, behind-the-scenes, LIFE journey has been crazier than I could ever communicate on a page or by speaking in front…
Read this!
It’s been a while since I wrote, and I know there’s no excuse…but for me, writing requires inspiration. I don’t particularly know why I’m inspired to write on this, but I think it needs saying. It could be the whiskey and coke talking, or perhaps it’s the frustration that I feel at the moment in not being able to fully grasp onto what I know I’m meant to do, and to be able to do it while earning a paycheck. This isn’t a music-specific note, but I think it definitely applies. I’m feeling particularly vulnerable at the moment, so please bear with me.
I know I’m a gifted individual. I have talents, I have passion, and I’m perhaps the hardest worker I know. I don’t mean that to sound arrogant in any way, but I’ve only found 3 people in my life that challenge me to work harder because I MUST keep up with them—My wife, my mother, and my current business partner at Setlist Music Solutions.
I’ve owned a construction business for 9 years. I’m tired. I HATE my day job. I hate heights, I hate painting and cleaning gutters, and I HATE the way people look at me when I show up at their homes to do the dirty work. I feel that they perceive me as a loser, and as a screw-up that has nothing to offer society but some hard labor because I didn’t finish high-school and chose to party instead. My extended family doesn’t get why I pursue music. I think they have the idea that I go out, get drunk, promote shows with pole-dancers, and hang out on weekends while neglecting my wife and daughter.
But I KNOW what I really am. My parents raised me to think and to live BIG with no excuses and to not settle for anything less than greatness. I’ve never chosen the easy road, the easy way out, or the soft landings. I’m honest. I finish the job, even if that means losing money. I don’t care what the cost is to do the job right, because that’s who I am and that’s what I want to be known for. I won’t quit, dodge phone calls, or hand out a bill until the job is done, and done RIGHT. I DO NOT lie. I am trustworthy. I’ve never flaked, I’ve paid employees when I didn’t have the money, and I’ve always followed through, regardless of my personal cost or loss. When others have chosen to drop the ball, I’ve picked it up and run with it. I love my wife dearly. I am committed to her. I provide for her. I will do anything for my little girl, and she is the love and joy of my life.
WHEN WILL IT PAY OFF???!!!!! I’m broke, exhausted, broken down, and stressed…but I press on. I have a 4-year degree from the University of Washington. I’ve never worked for another man. I had a job at the age of 13 shoveling rocks on Saturdays when the other kids in town drove around the BMW their parents bought them. I’ve created my own income, never leeching off of an employer, the government, or my parents. I pay my own insurance, my own hospital bills, and I do my own freaking laundry and dishes. Everything I have, I HAVE EARNED in blood, sweat, and tears by the grace of God. I went to high school, ran a business, dated my wife-to-be, played sports, and went to college simultaneously at the age of 17. I won the regional writers competition for the VFW in 8th grade. I won 2 scholarships for writing at UW. I won a singing contest and sang the national anthem at the Tacoma Dome. I finished my degree while running 2 businesses, going to night school full-time, and managed a band from scratch to playing the Tacoma Dome while my wife was pregnant and took a final on the day my child was born…all on a shoestring budget. I get up early, I go to work, I come home and spend time with my family, and then I work on a job that doesn’t pay me until 2am because I need something to live for that I am passionate about. I am resourceful. I strive to be the best at what I do. I am talented. I have a gift.
When will the day come that my gift is recognized? When will I be financially stable? When will I not have to worry about buying groceries? When will my work pay off? Why do others, who are lazy and unreliable, get such great jobs with great pay and live in beautiful homes while I rent and drive old cars? When will people see what I have to offer? When will my gift make room for me?
Tonight I saw a show on SportsCenter about Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin…athletes that had been turned down and overlooked. It was amazing to see that even with such great physical and athletic talent, they couldn’t flourish because they couldn’t perform. They had potential, but analysts and coaches couldn’t see what was beneath the surface. Now, those 2 athletes are perhaps the most notable people in their respective sports in the last year. They were given an opportunity and they CRUSHED IT! They didn’t take some special serum. They didn’t get a super-vitamin. The potential and talent was always there, and THEY NURTURED IT. They didn’t quit when all others said they should. When they were overlooked, they didn’t sulk in self-pity. Finally, when the opportunity arose, they were conditioned and ready.
Everyone has a gift and a God-given talent that is meant for greatness. Half of the time, the system that people are in prevents them from being effective. When those talents are used in the right way at the right time, the results are POWERFUL!…but it all comes down to being ready. If those 2 guys had not been ready, the opportunity of a lifetime would have passed them by and they wouldn’t have even known it.
I will not quit. I have dreams. I have passion. I will be ready when opportunity knocks. I won’t give in to mediocrity or the attitude of entitlement that is beginning to define our society. I REFUSE to be what everyone else settles to be…And regardless of the outcome, I will have chosen my fate, rather than it being chosen for me. I will have made a dent. I will have impacted lives. I will leave a hole when I am gone.
Leave a hole. Use your gift. Never quit.
After talking about trusting people I realized that it would probably be good to at least give you a couple of tools for protecting yourself…starting with keeping records.
Yep, I’m one of those anal-retentive and paranoid people that keeps every scrap of evidence to back up my case in most situations. I’d prefer I didn’t have to be that way, but a long history of going through “he said, she said” BS has made it impossible for me to simply go off of conversations and verbal agreements any more.
I don’t necessarily think that everyone is out to get me, but I do think people are out to benefit themselves, even if that means me getting the short end of the stick. People can mean well and they can also say great things…but EVERYONE (yes, even you) at some point remembers saying something or hearing something that the other person doesn’t remember saying or hearing. So make it easy for everyone by writing and keeping everything on permanent file.
If you can’t afford a lawyer, write contracts on email. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I want to hold everyone accountable for what was promised, arranged, or agreed upon. I do this with my friends, my business contacts, and yes, even my family.
Keeping emails and texts that are important removes any personal attachment or personal offense because what was said is signed in ink with no room for argument or negotiation. It keeps you from looking like a jerk and keeps everyone honest.
Keep the texts!…and know that if you contact me, I’m most likely keeping track. ;)
I’ve alluded to the issue of not being too trusting, but let me address it directly. Don’t trust ANYONE in the music industry outright. I’m not saying this because I’ve been recently burned or anything, but I do know what being burned by people you trust is like and it’s taught me to be a little slower to believe whatever is being said to me and a lot slower at agreeing to “great opportunities”.
People are full of crap in general. When you learn this, you will have learned one of the greatest lessons that life can teach. I NEVER do ANYTHING for ANYONE until I know I’m protected. Guard your trust, guard your assets, and protect them fiercely. You’ve poured your blood, sweat, and tears into your business and no fast-talking, money grubbing opportunist should be able to weasel their way into it with a few name-drops and promises.
Fight for what’s yours.
Tonight was wonderful…I interviewed a new intern for my company, Setlist Management (www.SetlistManagement.com) and I’m thoroughly stoked for the future and what is ahead. But after my meeting I felt like I needed something more…I needed a challenge. I decided to go right to the top of a mountain I’ve been trying to climb for a long time rather than working my way up the chain.
Why do we see a challenge and begin over-thinking, doubting, and looking for a way to diplomatically work our way into good situations through political means and connections rather than hitting things head-on? I’m so tired of kissing up to people through other connections…don’t get me wrong; connectivity is VITAL to our existence and who you know is important. BUT, I think the value of simply asking has disappeared in our world.
“Ask, and you shall receive” is a lost value and I intend to revive it. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR BIG THINGS!!! A famous saying goes, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and sadly, too many of us simply don’t take the big shots. Miss or not, I want to know that at the end of the day, I took the biggest shot possible. I took the shot everyone else was too scared or intimidated to take, and I’m the one who stands the greatest chance at glory. I may miss, but if I shoot straight, I get to live the dream that others chase for a lifetime.
Guts and the simplicity of asking can open doors that years of playing politics will never touch. I took a shot tonight…and I hit the game-winner. I will never be afraid to ask again.
DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DESTINY TO POLITICS. CHOOSE YOUR SHOTS, AND YOU CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY.
You’ve heard the saying, and most of us have probably said it: “Go with your gut.” But in reality, how many times do we ignore the little guiding voice warning us to stay the course? I was reminded this week of how hard it can be at times to stay true to your own goals when pursuing your dreams if you see a shortcut or possible chance you don’t want to miss.
I was offered a show for one of my bands and from the very beginning I knew I didn’t want it and I didn’t feel right about it…but the “reward” at the end of the day was promising a lot, so I started to pursue the carrot at the end of the stick, like a mule being tricked into chasing something they’ll never reach. After deciding to do a little digging on the “opportunity” presented to me, I found that the prize was not as glamorous and the road to the prize much different than advertised, leaving me pissed that I had even wasted my time on any pursuit of what my gut told me was a waste to begin with.
We all want to achieve our dreams and we all want great opportunities, but DON’T EVER go against your conscience. You may miss out on a few things because your gut can be wrong sometimes, but I’d rather choose and be PUMPED and CONFIDENT in my choices because it strikes a chord of passion in me, rather than second-guessing my choices and doing things out of obligation or a desire to not miss out. Choose your own road, make your own choices…you may look back and realize you were wrong, but at least it’sYOUR road that you chose.
When you don’t know what to do, get counsel, and if you still don’t know what to do, do what you feel RIGHT about.
Since my last post, life has been a whirlwind…San Diego Music Festival, great shows, killer panels and learning going on…but the thing I have taken most to heart is how the value of family continues to rise as I grow older…and I’m amazed at how music has played such a huge part in this.
Today is my birthday, and it’s one I’ll never forget. This week, my wife and I lost a baby; it would have been our 2nd child. After an emergency surgery, Melissa had a dangerous drop in blood pressure and we have been in the hospital with 911 calls, ambulance rides, and literal on-the-brink-of-death moments that have made me weep, lose hope, made me question all I do, and feel as alone as I could ever feel.
Through all of my fear and moments of devastation, I have been filled with a deeper appreciation for family that makes all other things in this life insignificant and meaningless in comparison…and I don’t just mean “blood” family.
If you know me at all, you’ll know that I put a value on family that I refuse to compromise on, and I don’t believe in a “blood is thicker than water” ideology. Family, to me, is made up of honest, deep, committed relationships where the members care about each other beyond function, are unselfish, and who will stand by and love each other through the hardest moments that include conflict with one another. I am willing to and have walked away from my own relatives at times to remain committed to my real relationships, and I hope this is my lasting legacy…that I will be remembered as a man that was genuine and always committed to relationships until the end or until the other individual chooses to walk away. I will never quit loving.
I cannot express how blessed I have been through this time by my family…all of you who have supported, prayed, and given of yourselves for Melissa, Jael, and I. I have been further convinced that music has given me yet more gifts in the form of loving and supportive friends and I am filled with the hope that whether this music thing goes as big as I think it will or not, I will have the family that I have met and connected with for the rest of my life, and that’s more important than the music or the business.
Love to all,
Gabe for Melissa and Jael
The alternative to booking through a venue when on tour is booking through bands in the cities where you’re trying to visit. 9 times out of 10, you’ll be able to offer a trade and other bands will take you up on it. I happen to heavily prefer this method for several reasons (keep in mind that this is assuming I’m booking for a developing independent act on tour):
1. The Band Has Local Ties To Venues - If a band from Portland attempts to book a show in their city as opposed to you, the venues automatically prefer the band who’s listed hometown online is local, and assume they have a draw of some sort.
2. The Band Usually Has A Relationship With Venues - Venues like working with bands they know and trust. They know what to expect from individuals, how many people they bring, how to build a bill around them, and they will generally allow certain bands leeway to bring in other quality acts that they vouch for. I have also found that bookers give me more leeway simply because of my reputation with them, especially if I commit to covering the draw for an out-of-town band.
3. It Expands Your Network - I’m a FIRM believer in the philosophy that you NEED other bands in your musical journey, and you MUST be connected in a community of bands to have any success. Bands support you, they plug you, you get their crossover, and you gain ALLIES and FRIENDS FOR LIFE (which is the best part of this whole music dream!).
4. It Gives You A Place To Stay - I don’t know about you, but I like beds better than van floors. Hosting bands almost always love to have guest bands in their pad/shack/basement, etc….it saves your back and your money, and it’s generally a safer place to park your van with all your gear for the night.
5. You Get To Play In Front Of People - Nothing sucks worse than playing in an empty room on tour. It’s a complete waste of your time. No people = No payout, no merch sales, and no new fans. Take advantage of other bands’ fan bases!
After this little series on touring, I’ll cover the art of show trades in-depth…there are some crazy stories and certain ways to do things that will save you some serious pain.
Feel free to ask questions!
Gabe
Alright I’ll just continue right where I left off on getting shows through bookers:
4. Don’t Ask Stupid Questions - Venues have websites and calendars for a reason (well, decent venues do anyway). Make sure to check the place out, research where they’re located, find out whether shows are 21+, and LOOK AT THE CALENDAR! It is booking suicide to write a venue asking if a night is free when right there on the calendar it has a bill listed…if it’s already booked, ask to be added as an opener…If it’s not, ask to be a part and then jockey for a decent slot without getting greedy.
5. Use Your Relationships - This world is all about who you know, and what you do with what you know to use who you know to influence others. Use every relational resource you have to get the ear of a booker…they’ll do their friend’s friends favors often.
6. Don’t Be Too Narrow In Your Vision - I wouldn’t say to aim low, but I also wouldn’t advise you to shoot only for the biggest venue in the money-slot for a single date. I’d cast a net to several venues for a 2 or 3-day window of when you need a show and see who bites. You may not get the venue you want, but a show is better than no show at all and you might even get more than one show. You just may have to play the crap place at first…but if your product is the best on the stage that night, word will spread and you’ll be playing the big place in no time!
7. Treat Opportunities Like Gold - Regardless of venue, it’s that booker’s WORLD. It’s what they work for, try to improve, think about, and find their identity in. Don’t EVER, for any reason, treat a venue like it’s worth less than another. I think your booking strategy has to change for each place, but you never know who you’re dealing with, what doors they can open for you, or how they could tarnish your name if pissed-off.
Take Care my friends! Pass on the blog if you like. More soon.
Gabe
